Last week I got married, yay! The wedding marked an end of what seemed like a year of transitions. In the last year, we bought a new home which catapulted a number of other events… the sale of one home and turning another home into a rental. Then not being able to rent the home out in the dead of winter and deciding to switch gears and sell the home because this made more sense. Oh, and not to mention, the home we bought needs work, which still hasn’t been done.
Although, two weeks before my wedding, I decided to start renovating my kitchen. So, yes, while we were dealing with last minute wedding details and had family in town, we were having new countertops installed and lived without a faucet for a week (because I had forgotten to order one until the countertops were installed). Needless to say, it was completely unproductive.
Change is really difficult and I saw firsthand how when you are faced with change, your first reaction may not be the most productive. Buying a home, selling a home, moving to a new location, starting a family, divorce and marriage are all considered huge changes in your life and can evoke a wide range of emotions. Anxiety, happiness, fear, threat, guilt, excitement, disillusion and acceptance are just some of the emotions you may feel. Overall, there are three different reactions to change:
Reactive: This is where I reside when I get stressed. People with this reaction make a fast decision while under pressure. Often decisions are made without the necessary information and in a frantic manner. From the outsider, a reactive person looks almost erratic.
Avoidance: Change is resisted and often people remain in denial. Decisions are put off as people start to feel stress. In this stage people often don’t move forward and remain stuck in the face of change. From the outsider, an avoider looks lazy.
Proactive: The most “normal” of reactions. In this state people often do more research, are more deliberate and are not as hasty. People with this reaction focus on what they CAN control, take actions and create positive outcomes.
Big life changes can evoke strange reactions and you should always give yourself some grace. However, there are some very helpful coping mechanisms that can be useful in getting you through difficult transitions. In the next newsletter, we will go over how to alleviate some of these stressors and reactions to change (I will need to research them since I certainly didn’t do a good job this time around in the face of stress!)
Liz is broker and owner of Liz Daigle Realty.
